11.17.2010

kripalu


the breeze is cool on my bare feet, sun streaming over my toes like kisses from a lover. my heart thumps a bit deeper in my chest, all those spaces filled with love and power. with determination, fierce love--for myself, my life, this crazy world of which i'm a living, breathing part. the clouds drape the sky, the pure blue broken by wisps and streaks. my plane will divide them this afternoon, tearing me away from this place, but the string remains. i am connected...i will always be connected. to this large outdated building on a hill in massachusetts, to the fresh apple cider filling my belly. to the books, the pages, to anne and armely and jess, to my hamstrings and spine and writing arm continuing to strengthen.

i believe in healing. in the power of this place. of my mind, my spirit, of my place in the universe. of all the particles and energy flow and salty tears leaving a well-worn path on my cheek. i believe in myself. my commitment to this story. to my story. to sharing myself--open wide, naked to the world. vulnerable and broken, the bits of glue peeking through the spaces of repair.

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this was written on my last day of a three-day writing retreat with natalie goldberg at kripalu center in lenox ma. i have been home since sunday and still...there are no words.  hopefully a few excerpts from my journal over the next few days will suffice.

11.12.2010

i wonder...


does the butterfly feel trapped in the cocoon? does she know what she will be? that with patience and time, she will emerge anew? i wonder: does the caterpillar dream of flying? of beautiful wings and freedom. does she realize her full potential, yearn for the transition to be complete.

oh butterfly, how we admire you--graceful and carefree. do you worry? that you will never break free. of all the time wasted. that you won't survive until that glorious day. or do you enjoy the silence, the solitude, the warmth inside? contemplating your future...dreaming of the flowers, the sky, the trees.

i wonder...