floating

yesterday i was myself again. i've been coming out of this fog for a while, but i finally felt the warmth of the sun on my face. in my effort toward authenticity and  my mission to maintain my childlike spirit...it felt like success. one snippet of my near-perfect day looked like this:

windows down in the black beauty, a car that has seen me through everything: grief, grad school, 4 am shifts at starbucks, marriage, and a fairly horrible commute to my first "real" job in houston. she's more like an old friend than a piece of machinery now. i know my CRV like the back of my hand--there's a comfort that comes with the relationship and she definitely has a special place in my life.

so, the wind is pushing those curly little pieces of hair all around my face. i smile in the rearview mirror...my natural hair frizzing in the late-summer heat. i am happy. the kind of happy where i glide my hand out the window to ride the waves of wind floating alongside me. and when a favorite song comes on the radio, just as i'm picking up speed on the open highway, let out a little scream...just to remind myself that i'm alive.

it was just a moment. a drive i've made a hundred times. but it was in that moment i knew i was coming back. that part of me that seemed trapped in quicksand, the one unable to break free from the tangles of her own life. in that moment, i felt peace.

sometimes i need to scream with the windows open. not worry what the guy in the lexus might think when i weave my arm through the warm breeze.  sometimes, i just need to be me.

today =

perfection.

possibility

flashback friday

it was so much harder to think of this week's flashback friday...mostly because i haven't been feeling very playful lately. it seems that every day has brought new grown-up challenges and limited my time for more simple pleasures. which is exactly why i needed today's adventure...

david and i used to go mountain biking at least once a week...i remember when i first started this blog, i posted this about our weekend ritual. and it was always a time of unadulterated fun. there's something about flying through the trails, wind whipping your face, a sense of true joy when we're in the groove. today i really forced myself to forget about all of my adult worries and just ride. i focused on the glints of sunlight through the trees, the birds chirping happily overhead, and the sound of my breath as we navigated the valleys and obstacles in our path.

riding bikes as a kid, we were never thinking about the homework we had to do later that night or the nutritional content of our lunchboxes. we were solely focused on the task at hand--speed and balance and the ever-popular "no hands" to show off to our friends. now, i may not have a banana seat or streamers flowing from my handle bars, but i do still get that little jolt of fear when we hit a difficult trail, that sense of freedom when flying downhill at top speed, and joy at having my best friend beside me for the ride.

what did you do last week that made you feel like a kid again?

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naptime is over

seen from our balcony in galveston, tx on friday

okay, so i really DID sleep most of the last week away. i may have finally overcome the overwhelm that was taking over in august and have enjoyed the first days of september by relaxing and starting a new art journal. i've noticed that i haven't been painting as much lately and since i'm going through a lot of big changes and decisions right now...i thought it was a perfect time to try it out.

i took an old composition book i never used and cut the front and back covers off to use for the journal. then i took a bunch of unused papers and punched holes and found some little binder rings to hold it all together. i'm excited that it's even something i can do after a full 12-hour shift at the hospital (today) and feel productive.  though the paint's still drying and i haven't added my text yet, i thought i'd give you a sneak peek.

hopefully i'll be posting more pages throughout the month. but mostly the next 30 days will be spent planning for our annual anniversary-vacation, or what david has dubbed "our third honeymoon." only this time we will not be in NYC or a small greek island, but in a rented RV traveling across west texas. we are nothing if not unpredictable.  i'll probably post a bit less this month, but plan to get a whimsical women interview in and a bunch of photos of my travels. 

although it's still 90 degrees most days, i'm pretty sure i feel autumn coming...