33 and lovin' it

for my husband's 30th i gave him a list of 30 things i love about him.  for my birthday, i am creating a list of 33 things i love about myself. here we go....

1. i love the swings
2. i color in coloring books (as in, i own my own books and crayons)
3. i dance to 80's youtube videos with my husband in our living room
4. i am an avid cliff jumper
5. i own blue nail polish
6. i have worn candy necklaces often as an adult
7. i dream of living in an RV
8. i believe adults should not need children to have a swing set in their backyard
9. i live every day like it's my last
10. i am inspired by children's curiosity
11. my favorite part of the game cranium is the play-doh
12. i know for sure that one should always choose fun over cleaning the house
13. i ate fried oreos at the rodeo
14. i love kites
15. riding my bike brings me joy
16. i wear pigtails often
17. my family is slightly addicted to the game catch phrase
18. i am happiest at the beach house, with the sound of the ocean from the balcony
19. i believe s'mores are a little bit of heaven for our tastebuds
20. i am fascinated by nature
21. i have a brave girl t-shirt
22. i am obsessed with birthday's...parties, cake, balloons...bring it on
23. i invite any occasion to wear costumes, funny hats, or play dress-up
24. i rode an elephant with my husband
25. i have completed a triathlon
26. i will drop almost anything to watch a sunrise or sunset
27. i often eat ice cream before (or as) my dinner
28. i love getting letters in the mail
29. i use colorful pens whenever possible
30. i am enamored with aquariums
31. packing for a trip is an ultimate high
32. i wore custom-made red puma sneakers to my wedding (they had blue laces)
33. every year i become a little more me

happy birthday to me!  off to the beach to soak up some sun and sip mojitos...

happy day

from my in-store painting experience saturday...more to come!

who is she?

Who is she, the one they see? Bold, fearless, carefree? Likely independent, unique, hard to define. She is quiet at times, thinking, watching. Waiting for her moment to shine. A storyteller, the center of attention. Definitely funny, always ready to laugh.

But also dark. That humor, just on the other side of light. A deep thinker—maybe. At times, with a Blue Moon (or 3), the serious one. Conversationalist, asker of questions. Honest. Brutally, at times. She is passionate, opinionated, sometimes harsh.

But she is a lover. Affectionate when in close company, and always the nurturer. Great with kids, yet unsure about motherhood. A child at heart, curious, always ready to learn. A reader—lover of books—shelves lined at her messy home. Organized chaos she'd have you believe. And an artist, a newfound love both for herself and in another.

Theirs is a fierce kind of love, the one so rarely found. One of novels and old films. Wild and messy and strong. She found him at the only right time. Once broken and shattered, combing the wreckage, she had completed reconstruction. Her fighter's heart had won, building up from the rubble of her grief, and forged on.

An independent spirit needing no guide, only a companion. A fellow traveler prepared for the ride. Her wings have spread wider, his breath blowing her higher in flight. From the ground, they cannot see from where the wind comes.

And so it will be their secret. This peace, this joy, in knowing the other. Her grief-filled tears—their salty trails like a snail's path to his heart. She will grow, change. Her art will blossom, alongside their dreams. She will shine. And the glow will be hers alone to see.

shine on!

discovery #38

i am impatient

i want everything now. i am an instant gratification kinda gal. i have all these big dreams and goals and plans, and i want it all RIGHT NOW. i am beginning to discover that i need to actually put in the hard work to get there. and i am trying to enjoy the journey as i do so.

i never realized this about myself before, but now that i look back...i see i've had a lot of big plans. all were just big dreams really, since i never put in the effort to bring them to fruition. i think i've started blaming this phenomenon on my life philosophy - to live in the moment, that all we can trust is the present. but it is slowly becoming clear that this philosophy may be shortchanging my dreams. if i am only focused on today...how can i prepare for the future?

especially if i have a very clear vision of how i want that future to look? david and i have been making some big decisions on how to achieve that lifestyle and i'm proud that i have been able to look past tomorrow. i still believe that we need to enjoy--and be grateful for--every moment. i still plan to live every day like it's my last and be fully present in my daily life. but in doing so, i will ensure that the steps i take today are leading along the path to my ideal future.

...the one where i work as a social worker in some capacity, but have more time to write, make art, travel, and possibly start a family. the one where we have a strong community of like-minded friends and a safe place to rest our heads. where i am creative every day and sharing that joy with others. where there is a never-ending supply of mint chocolate chip.

i am discovering how to channel my impatience into creative energy, the passion that drives me forward. it is this drive, this ambition to create the life i've always envisioned, that will propel me into a future i could have only imagined.