truth challenge #1

something i hate about myself…

i hate that i get so worked up sometimes and can't get out of it…like this horrifying downward spiral of anger and verbal diarrhea. i hate when i say things i don't mean when i'm feeling overwhelmed and depressed and hurt. i hate that i get so anxious i can barely breathe and sometimes rather than do my breathing exercises or go for a walk or write in my journal or call a friend—i just wallow in it. i hate that these emotions have the ability to paralyze me…literally and figuratively. but the thing i hate most is the anger. it fuels most of the other emotions and makes me a bad wife, daughter, employee. i hate that i can't just shut up and do the things i KNOW i should do to calm myself down and feel joy again. i hate that i just yelled F*@# YOU! to a bug that almost flew in my mouth because i am feeling this way right now. i also hate that i don't know if this is something i always had (and am only now acutely aware of) or if it is a result of my grief. i hate myself in this funk.

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this is something i found on another blog...and apologize to its original creator, as i cannot seem to find it again!  the challenge is to complete 30 questions in 30 days to start speaking our truth. it is something i believe i do with every post on this blog, but here's to answering some of the tough questions with brutal honesty...