trust the process.

although it is against my nature, today i will try to focus on the process, and not the outcome. you must understand that this is VERY difficult for me. i am a product person, i want to find the solution, solve the problem, see results. this has been a constant struggle for me as a social worker, where my role is never to solve problems, give solutions, etc. i am simply a companion on the journey, exploring options and providing education along the way. 

so today i will be my own social worker. i will admit that it is okay to forgo one goal for a bigger dream. my dream is to be a better writer. to write the stories of my life in a way that captures the hearts of readers and allows them to connect with those universal human experiences. last friday i posted that my goal was to submit a story to memoir (and). today i changed my mind. i want to use all of the wonderful input i received from a group of women kind enough to take time to help make my writing even better. to truly do honor both to my sister--whom the story is about--and their gracious efforts...i will wait.

i will not submit something average, just to say i did it. i will ensure that the work i produce is the best i can do, even if i miss the deadline. and as i continue to grow as a writer, i will view every experience as another part of my education. this is what i learned by committing to this project:

• because of the deadline, i actually did a lot of work on my story (which sat untouched since my class critiqued it months ago)
• that people are willing to offer their editing skills to help improve my writing (and at the last minute!)
• i function well with a (realistic) deadline
• i get anxious when i cannot make a deadline
• i need to set small writing goals, leading to a final product (yes, i know: write.every.day.)
• it's okay to change your mind
• it's okay for the outcome to be EXPERIENCE

i will go to bed early tonight, and not stress about getting something in on time. i will smile when i think of my "team" who put their heartfelt comments and suggestions into improving the story. i will continue to improve my writing and find someplace else to submit it, when it's ready.

i will trust the process.