4.11.2010

discovery #31

i am right where i want to be.

i have definitely taken the scenic route to get here, but i can honestly say that at 32...i have arrived. and i never would have believed at 22--and especially at 27--that it was possible. lately i've taken to thinking of my life as a puzzle...i kept collecting all the border pieces, the easy ones, that really don't show you the image, but give structure to the whole thing. it's only been in the last few years that i've found the middle ones--and actually figured out how they fit together. and those last couple pieces just seem obvious once you've got the rest complete--a no brainer--yet literally impossible before that point in time.

i've likened my life to many things over the years: a journey (so cliché), whirlwind, rollercoaster, highway (okay, that was tom cochrane). but the puzzle is the only one that seems accurate right now. i've always said this about my career path: that i needed all those crazy jobs to learn and build upon the skills of each. and i believe the same is true regarding my growth as a person. i have found myself in this place as a result of many decisions--both good and really poor, in equal measure. i never knew if the next piece would fit when i picked it up...i just worked really hard to make it fit. often it didn't, no matter how hard i tried, and i had to put it back in the pile for later. some fit perfectly on the first try...i just instinctively knew where they went.

and as i grow tired of this analogy, i will be bold enough to say that i have finally clicked the last piece in place. when david and i decided to make mariposa studio a reality, i felt that creative piece of my life finally materialize. i can now see how it all connects: my job as a social worker, my marriage, my love of nature, my dreams for the future...

this is the place i've been searching for: the easy calm of the studio, the support of my loved ones, the flexibility of my career, the promise of a more creative lifestyle. i realize that in time this will change...there will likely be a new puzzle to complete. but for now, i will delight in the sense of accomplishment and enjoy the view from this magical place.

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