creative writing exercise #1

so, 1/2 of my "creative day" fell through, but the other half was awesome! we're supposed to get crazy-rain tonight, they're predicting flooding...so my sis bailed on our date night. (but we're rainchecking on saturday...so there WILL be art to post!) but my first class of the creative writing workshop was tonight, and i am so glad i decided to sign up. we did an exercise at the end of class where we came up with 10 words as a group and then had 10 minutes to write a story using at least 8 of them. here is what i wrote:

hospital, hats, hope, walk, couch, ring, elevator, pencil, music, smoking

i walked into the hospital not knowing what to expect and fearing the worst. the people outside, smoking furiously, echoed my sense of nervousness. the piano music in the lobby was a sharp contrast to the panic that was building inside. increasing as i reached the elevator and pressed the floor of the ICU. families were gathered on the couches, the floor, exhausted and defeated--hoping for a doctor with good news. i spun my wedding ring on my finger as i do when i'm anxious, and approached the secretary to ask the dreaded question: "where is my husband?" she slowly moved her pencil down the list of names, it seemed like hours, waiting for her to locate the information, create a name tag, and move me toward the door. at the threshold i paused, ever so slightly, to take a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other.

breathe. breathe.

and there he was. tangled in a mass of tubes and wires, but he was there. i laid my hand on his, and felt instant calm.
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i actually volunteered to read it aloud as well! i really like the format of the workshop...we read a piece (rotating between fiction and non) and then discuss the author's style, use of imagery, etc. we also each do a 5-10 page story to submit for critique from the group. i have a few weeks until mine is due, but i'm already nervous about what i should write about. and she gives us exercises, homework, etc. each week as well.

i'm a little disappointed i'll be out of town next week, especially since there are only 7 classes, but i'll still get the peer stories to review and we received all of the readings today. i'm so excited...i feel like i'm taking my first leap into becoming a better writer--and being more disciplined in my efforts.

creative day!

i can't wait for tomorrow!!!! it is the first class of my creative writing workshop AND my sister is coming over for our first chagall and chardonnay party!!! they have this local event called "pinot and picasso"...which looks cool (but is way too expensive and you have to copy their choice of picasso painting, so we're going to do it OUR WAY!) i got her canvas all prepped tonight and laid out all of my "new" supplies, it's going to be so much fun to do art together.

casey is actually the artistic one...she took art classes in high school and college, and did some awesome photojournalism stuff too. so, i'm curious to see what she comes up with. i have my milos trilogy which has been sitting 1/2 finished for a couple weeks, so i'll try to get those done as well as my BIG PAINTING! i'm going to try for a night skyline...the background is all grey-black, but i'm still scared to go all the way. tonight driving home from work i was looking at the buildings, trying to get some inspiration. (and the wine will probably help my anxiety too!)

so, i should have some new artwork up soon...it's been way too long. i'm also planning to spend some time in my studio on saturday, hopefully experimenting with the wax i bought a few weeks ago. i'm finally getting over my organizing phase, and back into creative mode. i'll be sure to post artwork asap!

discovery #14

i have been PLANNING more than i've been DOING lately.

i'm in this crazy brainstorming, list-making, organizing, note-taking, in-my-head, idea-forming haze lately. i know it's my creative juices flowing, i get like this when i'm inspired to dream bigger than i had been previously. i've been thinking a lot about dream-chasing, which i've realized is really close to "creating the life i want," yet so different. dreamers seem to get a bad rap, labeled as irresponsible, disorganized, flighty.

but someone who CREATES the life she wants, now that's a go-getter, pro-active, goal-driven kinda gal. my favorite quote is: "life isn't about finding yourself. life is about creating yourself." (unknown) in our 20's i think most of us were dream-chasers; seeking what we thought we wanted/needed...a great (paying) job, prestige, tons of friends, power, and a house full of STUFF.

by the time we reached 30, most of us realized that half of that crap was worthless and the only thing of value was our relationships with others. now is when the fun begins...we get to throw out all of those antiquated ideas of who we were and what was important, and begin constructing the life we were meant to lead. but to be honest, i think i'm a bit of both: flighty dreamer and go-getter. the creator part turns me off mostly because i'm more of a kismet, serendipitous, what's-meant-to-be type. i hate the old: "what's your five year plan? set goals, action steps, blah.blah.blah." but lately i've totally been doing this...and it feels like i'm being too RESPONSIBLE. planning, schmanning...

but i love that i'm dreaming so big these days. i love that david is actively nourishing my creative spirit. i love that not only am i creating the life i want for myself, but together we are figuring out how to make our individual dreams come true together. wow, that sounds even cheesier on screen than in my head, but i don't care. that's what the exploration phase is for, putting all the ideas out on the table, even the crazy ones. and i do love to explore...

fear.

my canvas, compared to my usual album cover size

okay, i have been staring at this HUGE piece of wood for over a week. i haven't really painted or worked on mixed media during this time either. i have been dreaming of doing a big piece for a while, but ended up with a large "canvas" by total accident.

quick backstory: if you've seen any of the entries about my art you know that i use either photo album covers or old tiles as my surfaces. the albums are about 12x12 and the tiles 9x9...i love squares and i am enjoying this small size. but i'm about out of both items and was curious about doing some work with wax and needed a sturdier base.

so, this is how i ended up at lowe's in the lumber yard with a 2'x2', asking for them to cut it down into (4) you guessed it: 12x12's. but, that particular day the saw was broken and they couldn't do it. so i decided to just GO FOR IT and bought the whole thing. i came straight home and prepped it with gesso. then it sat and sat and sat...just taunting me there on the floor of my studio.

tonight i am going to put something on it. i usually don't plan any of my mixed media pieces, it's more of a free-flow kinda thing, but i'm obviously terrified of "messing up" my nice big canvas. i know by typing these words i am making a commitment to take a chance. who cares if i don't like it...is it any different than the album covers i haven't liked? NO. can i paint over it and start again? YES.

this is the end of my pep talk: cowboy-up girlfriend...it's only paint. what are you afraid of? make a mess...at least you know you're good at that part.

create.

there are so many ways to create.

this might be why i always considered myself

creative, never artistic.

i was never great at one thing, but kinda good at a bunch...

and inspired by everything.
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i love color. and i love to play. make a mess.

build something from nothing.

to be creative is a gift of yourself...

to bring beauty into the world.

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be brave. color outside the lines. take risks.

and never stop being you.