1.16.2010

disconnected.

well, my "writer's retreat" has taught me a lot more than i expected. the second day, my laptop--which my husband lovingly took to some tiny shop and paid $200 to fix--stopped running AGAIN. so, no blog entry that day. the next day we decided to bite the bullet and buy a new one. ( i will talk about how excited i am about this at a later date.) but then the weather was so incredibly bad i couldn't risk taking my new baby out into the storm, just for some wireless access.

i tell you all of this to help explain the anxiety that began to creep in last night. i couldn't figure out what it was. i was here in the beach house (one of my favorite places on earth), cozied up with my husband, shiny new laptop in the corner, a dozen inspirational books, delicious food and wine...what was the problem??? and then i finally realized what it was: i was disconnected.

i didn't recognize the implications of my daily routine (which is exactly why i needed this week off to do "nothing.")...every morning when i get to work, i check my hotmail account, browse through my blog reader, and generally catch up with my co-workers at our 8:15 huddle. for the days david went back to houston to work this week, i was completely alone. i realized one day that i hadn't spoken to anyone until he got back at 8pm!

for some people this would be heaven. and don't get me wrong, i love my alone time, but not at the expense of feeling connected to the outside world. so, very soon we will get dressed and venture out to brave the elements, not because we need food or water, but because i must use my new computer for something other than word documents and photos. i need to check-in with my friends...and upload my ramblings into the universe.

i learned this week that while it's important to spend some time in solitary confinement every so often, it's really nice if they let you use the internet.

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